The Art Of Being Female
by Mokusatsu-kun
Summary: An accident during a field trip to Jusenkyo left 6 year old Naruto trapped in the body of a girl and prematurely awakens the Kyubi. As Yohiro Konoko, 'she' begins a new life. However, nothing is ever left buried and sides are being chosen. Warnings inside
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2, unfortunately. Yaoi, yuri and het. If you hate yaoi or yuri, avoid this like the plague.

Yes, this is a rewrite of The Art Of Being Female. I couldn't help but want to correct some parts of the original story and expand on others. I'm hoping that you'll enjoy this as much as you did the first. The first chapters are the same as the first chapters of The Art of Being Female. I was not entirely sure whether I should simply replace the chapters or if I ought to start afresh, but restarting, I think, will help me finish this, as well as restart the other stories that I have left pending for so long.

For those of you wondering why I didn't put this as a crossover, it is because I'm only taking elements from Ranma 1/2 for this chapter only. The rest of this story will be based in the Naruto-verse and therefore I thought it would be better suited in only the Naruto category.

* * *

"..."- Talking  
'...'- Thinking  
_**Kyubi talking to Konoko  
**_**Konoko talking to Kyubi**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 1**

In hindsight, being locked in this dual curse was probably a good thing. Maybe even the best thing that could have happened to me. I mean, I was able to prove myself, something which I don't think I could have done easily had I still been male. I've avenged my clan using abilities that I wouldn't have known about (damned genetics is all I have to said about that.). I was able to prove myself smarter and got proper training now than if the mask had stayed on. I guess I'd better start from the beginning instead of ranting on and on and confusing you, ne?

* * *

It was six years ago-half a lifetime for me-when the ninjutsu academy class I was in was taking a little field trip. Along with a few other classes in the academy that were just one level above or below us. A whole whack of use just wandering around, and no one was making so much as a funny face. I considered field trips as needing that extra bit of oomph. We needed some very serious fun. Not scribbling notes down in a little notebook like it was the best thing since ramen! That wasn't right. Ramen was the best thing since ramen! I wanted to do something-anything in order to make this stupid trip more fun. Maybe even shove someone into one of the springs.

Each time I tried to act out, though, I got a smack on the head by the man standing behind me. The old man Hokage. Kinda screwed things up.

"Pay attention!"

"Oww! What'd you do that for old man?" I held my head with both hands and the old man, Hokage-sama glared at me.

"I want you to pay attention! You never listen. I'll throw you in one of the springs. Why do I put up with you?" I just smiled; he knew why he put up with this, although I didn't. I turned my attention to the guide who was explaining about locked curses and dual curses. Boring! I've already learned about this, the old man made me. I dunno why though, said it was important for me to grow, whatever that means. I tuned out and looked around the site. Decaying bamboo sticks, half filled ponds. This place was in need of major renovations.

"…Jousenkyo springs is one of few places that acts as a link between dimensions. Ranma-sama, Ryoga-sama, Ukyo-sama and Xian Pu-sama take care of the area as well as train certain people. The students usually hear a voice singing…" At that moment, fate decided to play an awful prank on me. Absolutely despicable.

My class was moving on, following the guide like good little boys and girls. I wandered away when the old man wasn't looking. Come on, the guided tour was so boring. After a while, I looked around and blinked. This was…the restricted area of Jousenkyo, where those four people, Ranma, Ryoga, Ukyo and Xian Pu lived. Supposedly. Hmm... Cool.

There was just one problem; I couldn't hear anything. It was like someone poured a thick liquid into my ears. There wasn't even birds chirping. The silence was driving me crazy, but when it began, I could hear it. Humming. Had there been any noise, I wouldn't have heard it. I clung to it, my lifeline., and followed it in hopes that I would get back to civilization.

Boy was ever I wrong.

* * *

Ranma tuned to Xian Pu, who was humming and frowned. Xian Pu rarely hummed anymore: the balance had been restored since the kyubi's defeat. So what was wrong this time?

That was when they met ehat was wrong. A boy stumbled into the clearing where Ranma, Ryoga, Ukyo and Xian Pu sat. His blond hair was messed and his blue eyes showed confusion. Ranma was the first on his feet.

"Who are you?"

The blond glared at Ranma. "I could ask you the same thing." He was 6 years old or so, and Ranma and Ryoga could sense the insane amount of chi in the boy. Impossible for a human.

Ryoga stepped forward, his usual brash self. "I won't ask again. Answer or die."

The boy sweat-dropped. "Alright! Alright! Calm down. The name's Uzumaki Naruto."

"Aiya!"

Ranma turned to Xian Pu. "Shampoo, what is it?"

Xian Pu pointed a shaking finger to one of the formally empty craters. It had filled with a thick blue liquid. Xian Pu started to cry. Ukyo was by her side in a second. "Shampoo honey, what's wrong?"

Xian Pu hiccoughed. "Say boy go in there. Say boy not survive if not strong. Say boy go in there and become strong. Say boy…" She broke off and began blubbering. Ranma and Ryoga sweat-dropped as Xian Pu cried. Ukyo comforted the Amazon.

"So your name's Naruto, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Shampoo said-"

"I know what she said. I can hear, ya know. Not deaf or anything."

"Yeah, whatever…Anyway…"

"I'm supposed to go in there, right? Well, it couldn't hurt."

Famous last words.

* * *

A tall, black haired man walked towards the Hokage, holding something, or someone in his arms. The thing he was holding moved, attempting to burrow into the man's body.

"Hokage-sama. It is…good to see you again."

The Hokage inclined his head. "It has been a while Ranma-sama."

The man, Ranma, sighed. "We have a problem, Hokage-sama."

"Oh?"

"Not 'we'; Ryoga, Ukyo Xian Pu and I. 'We'; the guardians of Jousenkyo springs, you and your village…"

* * *

It was a week later that the field trip ended. The point had been to visit various historical training grounds, Jousenkyo springs being one of many. Uchiha Sasuke wandered into the schoolyard, having gotten away from the horde of girls following him. He sighed as he fell back onto the ground against the trunk of one of the trees. His Aniki, Itachi, always teased him about the girls that always chased him. The yard was nearly deserted, a few parents with their kids. He closed his eyes, enjoying the reprieve as long as it lasted. At least, until school started in half an hour.

"Na—Miss Konoko!"

"Yeah? A message from the old man?"

"The 'old man' is the Hokage, and yes."

Sasuke had followed the voices and was in time to see a girl his age scowl at a shinobi. "What does he want?"

"Your guardian, Tsu-"

"I know who my guardian is. What about her?"

The shinobi seemed irritated at being interrupted. "She's coming tomorrow. You're to meet her at the Hokage's."

The girl's scowl deepened. "I'm supposed to stay there all day tomorrow then?"

"Yes Miss Konoko."

The girl pouted. "That's not fair! Stupid old man…"

The shinobi crouched so that he was at eye level with the girl, Konoko. "I'll take you out to ramen if you behave tomorrow."

"Sugoi!" The girl jumped, arms hugging the shinobi's neck. "You're the best, Iruka-niisan!" Sasuke's eyes widened. The change from angry to compliant just because of a bowl of ramen was...a little disturbing to see.

"I have to go to the academy. You'll be okay, right?"

"I'll be fine. And just call me Konoko and drop the Miss. I haven't changed that much."

"Alright."

"Ne, ne!"

"Yes?"

"Is it alright to talk to the other kids now niisan?"

Iruka smiled at the girl. "Yes…Konoko."

"Bye niisan!"

Iruka disappeared just as a teacher walked towards the girl. Sasuke sighed as he entered the building.

"Class, we have a new student with us today. Her name's Yohiro Konoko. Please make her feel welcome. Konoko, you may sit between Ino and Sakura."

It was the first time he noticed a girl before. And was actually interested in her. She hadn't whined about not being able to sit beside him. Her skin was ivory, her eyes a sky blue. Her hair seemed gold spun. It was short but pulled into pigtails. Her eyes were wide as she greeted everyone. She bit her lip nervously before sitting between the two girls, as if the pair would bite her. Why would a girl neither Sakura nor Ino knew be afraid of them? How...intriguing.

* * *

I felt uncomfortable as class started, sitting between the two girls. I was praying for the end of class when Iruka-aniki would come and get me the entire time. Unfortunately, when class did end, one of the girls I was sitting beside stopped me from getting away. It was The only other blond girl in the class, Ino.

"Hey, Konoko, why don't you play with us while you're waiting for your parents?"

I blinked, startled. No one had ever asked me to play with them before. Well, there were some people but their parents told them to never talk to me again.

"Sure." I didn't bother correcting the fact that I didn't have any parents; I didn't, and still don't, want anyone's pity.

Before the more sane side of me could change my mind, Ino held my wrist and led me to where the other girls were. "Everyone, this is Konoko. Konoko, this is Hinata, Sakura, Tenten and I'm Ino."

I smiled at them weakly. Hinata smiled back shyly while the others' smiles were more open. We were playing tag when aniki came. Finally.

"Konoko!" He picked me up as I jumped to hug him. The girls stared at him. I suppose they have a right, Iruka is a shinobi and a notoriously harsh teacher. He's been calling me Miss Konoko for a week now. I'm glad he stopped. Now we can be like before. Although...nothing may be like before now that I'm a girl. And if I'm a girl, will I still get cooties since I was a boy before? Or does the fact that I'm currently a girl give me immunity from cooties?

"We're going home?"

"Yeah."

"Did you remember to buy the groceries? Is that why you're late?" Iruka-niisan almost never makes anyone wait for him.

"Actually, I-"

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Then…then…what are we going to eat?"

"I'll order pizza."

"Really? Sugoi!"


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the wait, everyone. Here's the next chapter for your reading pleasure! Hopefully I'll have the next chapters out sooner.

* * *

"..."- Talking  
'...'- Thinking  
**_Kyubi talking to Konoko  
_Konoko talking to Kyubi **

**

* * *

Chapter 2**

The next day at school I had the dubious honour of sitting beside Sasuke. Ino had been the one kind enough to let me sit beside him-she wanted to sit beside Sakura today. I shifted uncomfortably, feeling even more awkward than yesterday. This was Sasuke. I had never like the boy-mostly because he was such a snob to everyone here. And I got to sit beside him. J...eh?

I blinked when I felt someone tug on one of my stupid pigtails and turned to glare at Sasuke. He only smirked back at me and tugged on it again. I narrowed my eyes and thought of all the things I could do to get back at him when he let go, a small little smirk on his face as he turned back to the front. I scowled at him. He has no manners whatsoever!

This continued at the beginning of every class. I had a desire to throttle him but I just glared at him every time because I didn't want to get on everyone's bad side. Sasuke was the popular kid here and I doubted that anyone would like me if I yelled at him. Tch. No one else would care if I was myself right now. Hell, I wouldn't even be sitting beside Sasuke if I was myself. Err, my real self.

The day kept dragging on and on, making me feel even more irritated. I wasn't going to meet Iruka after class. He was busy so I had until this evening for my last day of freedom. Then I'd be meeting my new guardian. A loud, relieved sigh came when we were all dismissed from class. I wanted something to eat. Some ramen, definitely. I sighed as I headed out of the academy. This time there wasn't anyone playing games-everyone's parents were here. How nice. I watched as they were picked up and taken home one by one.

How...lucky. I wanted to throw a bit of a fit. They all had what I wanted so easily. They got to not be hated. They had people that took care of them and loved them and didn't hurt them. All I got was someone The Hokage wanted taking care of me. I bet a hundred bowls of ramen that they'd be as judgemental as everyone else when they found out that I was really Naruto. I sighed softly and sat on my swing.

Some of the parents looked at me sympathetically and I smiled at them before looking down. Look at how nice they were when I wasn't myself! This was ridiculous! Why couldn't they have been nice when I was myself?

And, answering my question, I heard some of the mothers talking softly. And though they didn't use my name, it was easy to tell who they meant by their snide and arrogant tones. And also because of the gratuitous use of the word 'it'. That's how most of the adults referred to me.

"I don't see it here..."

"Do you think they finally got rid of it?"

"I hope so. Having something like that close to our children is dangerous."

Another woman's voice chimed it. "I heard from my husband that the Hokage is sending it to a special training ground."

"No...! What is the Hokage thinking?"

"He doesn't have a choice in the matter. The masters there insisted that it be the one they train."

"Don't they know what it is? They want to train something like that? What if it comes back here and tries to destroy Konoha again?"

A-again? When did I ever destroy Konoha? I'd defaced property...once. When I was three. And I got rocks pelted at me because of it. I could have died then if some nin hadn't gotten in the way and saved me. It had been a weird man with white hair...I didn't remember his face. Any child in my place would have been gently reprimanded...but me... I squeezed on the ropes of the swing, biting my lip. They were so cruel! I hadn't done anything at all!

"We can't let that happen! There must be a way to stop it!"

"Maybe if we kill i..."

I looked up to see the three women who had been talking about me. They'd stopped and were staring at me. I blinked and stared back. It couldn't have been something I said. They all had the expression that was often on their kids' faces when they got into trouble. I blinked and turned around slowly. It couldn't have been me staring at them so it must have been something else.

And it was. My eyes went wide, staring at the stone-faced nin standing behind me. One that looked just like Sasuke but had red eyes. He looked down at me and pressed a finger to his lips. I blinked up at him and nodded before looking forward again. Everyone had left now... I looked up again and the nin was still standing there.

I stared up at the other for a moment longer. "Who are you?"

The nin crouched down so that I didn't have to tilt my head up. He stared me in the eye, as if judging me. "I am a Uchiha."

"Oh." I smiled slightly, though a little uncomfortable. So he was related to Sasuke. No wonder he looked like him. "I-I'm Yo-"

"Yohiro Konoko." The nin tilted his head to one side at my confusion. "The Holage isn't all-powerful. There are some secrets that can be discovered if one listens at the right doors and in the right places, _Yohiro-san_."

"O-oh?" My eyes went wide at his words. H-he knew who I was? T-this wasn't good! I panicked a little and looked around, but there wasn't anyone here. O-oh, I was so dead! A hand appeared in front of me and-

Flower.

I followed the arm back up to the nin's face. He was actually smiling at me! W-what? I blankly took the paper flower he present to me, unsure of what was happening. The nin seemed to realize my confusion and patted my head before disappearing.

"...W-weird." I muttered to myself and looked down at the oragami flower. He knew who I was...and he was kind. That was so...foreign. I hesitated for a moment before smiling a little. It was sort of nice. I guess... It was time to see the Hokage...

Entering the Hokage's office wasn't that hard. The old man had told the nin that were guarding the tower to let me in. And me, as a little girl, walked in without even being glared at. There were a few pitying glances though. What the hell did the old man tell these idiots?

One of the jounin standing at the old man's office door came in with me, announcing me to all of the old man. He was the only one in the office, from what I could tell. I sighed and walked over to his desk. "So why am I here, oj-"

A pig squealed from somewhere and I suddenly was lying on the floor with a pink growth on my head. "Ow..."

The stupid old man didn't bother checking on me but smiled at the big breasted woman who had appeared in the doorway. "Ah, Tsunade-hime. It's a pleasure to see you again."

The woman growled and sat down, ignoring me as well. "I came. So why am I here, ji-ah, Hokage-sama."

The old man smiled as I stood up, glaring with my new growth trying to hold on. "Tsunade, I would like you to become the guardian of a certain child. Yohiro Konoko. Take her with you and raise her as you see fit."

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh?"

Tsunade looked like she was in shock before glancing at me. "...Alright. I'll take her and train for a few years outside of the village."

"Bring her back in, say, three years?"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?"

* * *

_…3 Years ago, Konoha ninja academy…_

"Alright everyone! Settle down!"

Hyuga Sen, a 12 year old of the branch family, found himself sitting between two girls. One he barely knew; a quiet, 9 year old who sat at the back of the class most of the time. The other, unfortunately, was Haruno Videl.

Videl was one of his many admirers. He had once complemented her analytical skills and she had been smitten. At least she hadn't made any blatant proclamations, unlike her younger sister that his cousin, Hinata-sama knew. Today, however, they were being separated into their genin teams and Sen dearly hoped that Videl wasn't on his team.

"Next, Team 5. Haruno Videl, Hyuga Sen…"

"Alright!"

Sen frowned, scowling. 'Great, just what I need… Exactly which god did I piss off this time?'

"…And your third member will be Yohiro Konoko. Mind that you watch over her."

Videl blinked, her enthusiasm waning. '…Another girl? What god did I piss off to be this close to heaven? This isn't fair! It should have been another guy, like with all the other groups.' She stood up in order to get the sensei's attention. "Sensei, who's Yohiro Konoko?"

"I am Yohiro Konoko. And I don't need to be watched over sensei. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself thank you very much." The voice was strong, angry and coming from his right.

Videl looked over to the girl on Sen's other side. Her blue eyes glared at Videl and Sen. Videl was in shock. "You graduated? But you're as old as my little sister!"

Konoko's glare centered on Videl. "Don't judge me just because I'm younger than you. I'm a hell of a lot better than your sister. Or you for that matter." Sen hid a smile as the girl proceeded to ignore the fuming Videl. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, with this girl around. At least, it couldn't get any worst than it already was with Videl on his team.

…Wait. Who came up with these decisions anyway?


End file.
